Some Of The Many Lies I’ve Told
Where I Work
I don’t actually work at a country club for rich people on the moon, cleaning their space golf courses. Anymore.
Who I’m Friends With
I’m not actually besties with Leonardo DiCaprio. We fell out after I wouldn’t give him some cocaine.
That I Can Rock A Fedora
I don’t actually wear any kind of head gear apart from top hats made out of rabbit intestines.
That I’m In A Band
I’m actually in every band ever. I’m just real good at make-up.
That I’m Real Good At Make-Up
I can actually shape shift.
That I’m A Magician
I actually have telekinesis.
That I Make Candles In My Spare Time
My spare time is reserved for working at a country club on the moon, hanging with Leonardo DiCaprio, wearing Fedoras, being in a band, doing real good make-up and being a magician.
That I Had The Best Sex Of My Life With Halle Berry
She’s a horrible, selfish lay.
